A few days ago, Kim Linger Brooks wrote a blog post at Nine Naughty Novelists about her first RT. Now Kim is a friend of Erin’s who became a friend of all of us at that convention, and she ended up hanging out with the five of the nine who were there, but she was still full of trepidation when she set out for Chicago. I think she was incredibly brave. Going to your first convention is nerve-wracking enough, but going without knowing anyone is mind-boggling.

My first romance writers convention was RomCon in 2010. It was being held in Denver, which meant I could always hide out at my house, but I was still scared to death. Finally I shared my terror with the Naughty Nine, asking if anyone else would be interested in attending since it was a fairly inexpensive convention (compared with, say, RT or RWA). Fortunately for me, Erin decided to give it a try. And Erin was smart—she brought along her mom and her daughter. Instant friends.

So why is doing this so terrifying? Conventions are great for seeing people and being seen yourself, but they’re also great for reminding yourself just how insignificant you are in the great scheme of things. When that happens (and it happens at virtually every signing for me), it’s good to have friends you can talk to, who can remind you that although you may be small potatoes, so is everybody else (except for Nora Roberts, Susan Elizabeth Phillips, Jayne Anne Krentz, JR Ward, etc., etc., etc.).

In 2011, I went to my first RT. Seven of the nine (everybody except Syd and Kate) were going to be there, but Erin was the only one I’d met IRL. Once again, very nervous stomach. Fortunately for all of us, we became friends almost instantly, which meant there was always somebody to hang with. The next year only five of us made it to Chicago, but we still had a great time.

I was very nervous about attending the Romance Writers of America convention though since, once again, I wouldn’t know anybody. Then last year my terrific critique partner, Teri Wilson, asked me to room with her, which took away at least fifty percent of my terror. And once I got to Anaheim I found some other friends from my days in the San Antonio Romance Authors and people I’d met before at RT. I’ll be there again this year in Atlanta.

The thing is, conventions are billed as fun, which is true, but they can also be scary. I know that better than anyone. While there are writers who are total extroverts (Susan Elizabeth Phillips springs to mind), a lot of us tend to be shy, retiring types. Telling someone “Oh, you’ll make friends there. It’s easy” doesn’t really help. It’s not easy. And unless you’ve got a few semi-familiar people around to hang with, it can be absolutely terrifying. On the other hand, you may discover that some of your “virtual” friends are going to be at the convention too—and that’s one of the great advantages of conventions in general. You get to make the virtual real.

So I’m looking forward to RT 2013. We’re going to have a bachelorette party for the Promise Harbor Wedding authors and we’ll be doing karaoke again with the Smutketeers. It’ll be fun. But if it’s your first time, please look me up. Believe me, it’s much less daunting if you have somebody to talk to. And if you find me at a signing, I’ll be pretty much guaranteed to have plenty of time on my hands. Yes, it’s scary, but it’s also worth it. So take a breath and dive in. You’ll be glad you did.